<3

Love is the anti-electricity;
it never takes the path of least resistance.

Petyon for President 2008!

The news this weekend stirred with the rumblings of the quadrennial melee that is the bid for the Democratic and Republican nominations for the Presidency. Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton have thrown their hats in the ring on one side (assuming that the DNC, if a wrestling match, would actually follow rules or traditions rather than being a veritable Fight Club), and Rudy Giuliana and John McCain on the other. In the wake of Hillary Clinton announcing her bid as President and the Colts beating the Patriots in the AFC Championship for a Super Bowl bid, I present to you the formula for a winning ticket in next year's presidential election: Peyton Manning for President 2008. America may indeed be finally ready for a female president, but not for Hillary. Her half-hearted steps towards moderation are a flimsy veil for her neo-socialist brand of statism, and if you think the Bush administration was leaning towards totalitarianism, just wait til Hillary's Storm Troopers take over, with their lack of accountability to the conservatives of America regarding spending and government interference. Kafka's The Trial would be revealed as a prophetic rather than representative work.
Manning would make a better candidate than the current contenders regardless of career choice and political convictions. In our nation's history there has been determined possibly only one certain fact about the presidency: compromise is the main skill needed for a successful administration. Political convictions are always swept under the rug along with promises to constituents and the hairballs left on the carpet by executive mistresses anyway, so a temporary pandering to the interests of one party or the other in order to gain a nomination is merely a stepping stone to the presidency and not an actual indication of policy direction.
Manning's New Orleans heritage (his father is former Saints helmsman Archie Manning) would rein in the Southern voting bloc as well as provide an innate sympathy for the victims of natural disasters, thus tempering the gripe of those who expected the government to make bad weather illegal in the wake of Katrina. Barack "This fairy tale ends in Chicago" Obama can take his polarizing comments about the success of the Saints back to Illinois, which is where he will most likely remain thanks to his polarizing comments. His loyalty to the Bears has most likely succeeded in alienating himself from a large portion of African-American votes in the South, which would have been one of his strongest blocs otherwise, and will have been proved hasty after the Colts win the Super Bowl on February 4.
Because of a hesitation to take action under pressure, Manning would also resolve complaints from both sides of the political spectrum regarding America's move away from isolationism in foreign policy. A more strict adherence to the "Shoot Second" ideal would be the fallout, and if we were attacked first, then at least America would have the reassurance of knowing that the president could easily lob a grenade through the Oval Office window to any attackers approachign though, say, the South Lawn or Rose Garden. Manning is also reliable; he's not missed any games and only missed one snap throughout his career, so we can count on our future president not taking any unannounced hiatuses (hiati?) or sick days, unless Lorenzo Bromell penetrates the Secret Service Defense and breaks his jaw again.
The old adage "Nothing is certain but death and taxes" would be upended in the Manning Administration. As the most highly-paid player in NFL history, Manning would surely take pity on the upper eschelon of taxpayers providing the bulk of federal income and institute a new budget centering around the actual birth of heretofore mythological tax breaks.
By putting his old buddy Reggie Miller on the ticket as VP candidate, Manning would cover most of America demographically, ensuring his victory. Milller's Midwest loyalties, basketball ties, and African-American descent would snag the floaters which Manning's Southern heritage, football ties, and Caucasian descent don't reel in. In addition to collecting the majority vote through wise alliances, Manning's high visibility due to endorsements would raise awareness of himself as a candidate. This could be interpreted by the electorate as a loyalty or obligation to Big Business, but what president has been free from that interest? None.
So... Peyton for President 2008! Eli can be Secretary of Defense.
And maybe I'll get a Supreme Court seat.

Satan was Ohio State's trash-talking, show-boating wide receiver

Here's where most people would use the cliche "I hate to say I told you so..."
But I don't hate to say it. The Tarheels won; they deserved to win, and last night's game proved how overrated Ohio State is. Granted, being ranked #1 simulatneously in both basketball and football is nearly unprecedented, but some would argue that the basketball ranking was inflated due to nearly every poll counting OSU's chicks (or rather, Greg Oden) before they've hatched. We will most likely see the same thing happen next year with Oklahoma State when OJ Mayo follow Bob Huggins to his doom - a team's reputation being placed upon the as-yet unproved capability of one man. The whirlwind of press surrounding North Carolina's Tyler Hansbrough and his pre-season celebrity is similar; however, Hansbrough has one complete season under his belt and helping lead his team to the tourney as a freshman is an accomplishment by anyone's standards, especially considreing the realtive weakness of Carolina's depth after losing Sean May & Co. to the NBA draft following their championship. Last night the Tarheels proved to be the better of the two freshly-minted squads in one of the best college basketball games this fan's ever seen. The pace was fast though not frantic (e.g. WVU and Wake Forest in their triple-overtime tourney game in 2004), and the points stayed within a close spread. I did miss most of the first half, but the rest of the game proved incredibly exciting, with both teams excelling on boh ends of the court. OSU displayed some fear of running to the basket, and it was this dependence on a perimeter game which cost them the victory because their three-point shooting slacked towards the end of the game in relation to the consistently sharp-shooter accuracy of their earlier shots. Carolina's strength within the paint overcame a late-game tendency to foul; at one point Hansbrough dropped in a 2-point rebound despite being triple-teamed.
Carolina's victory contributed to the ACC's 7th-straight dominance in the Big Ten/ ACC Challenge week, a winning streak which stretches back as many years as the Challenge itself. Bob Knight fans could interpret this as "The ACC was waiting for Knight to leave before challenging such a consistently excellent conference." Though that statement itself is logically spurious, it does lend credibility to those who stand by Knight despite several - alright, alright - lots of snafus, missteps, mistakes, and just downright shameful acts during his career. Knight will be able to shrug off some of the negativity this season when he ties or surpasses North Carolina's sainted Dean Smith in career wins. His time as the Hoosiers' helmsman has redeemed the legend from his unpardonable sin of graduating from Ohio State, and the Texas Tech Red Raiders will most likely reap the benefits of the decades of experience Knight gained at Indiana University.
Speaking of graduates from the Big Ten rivals, here's another tally mark for Michigan: Madonna apparently had a dance sholarship there. Go figure.

Renaissance Woman

It's time this blog pulled a Lazarus and was resurrected. "But, Lorin, why are you still alive? With Michigan's loss to Ohio State and not even making it to the championship game, Sinister Minister not even showing in the Derby, and the Democrats taking over the Senate, everyone figured you'd slit your wrists by now." But no, there is hope for a phoenix act after all, for Germans are harder to kill than cockroaches, and I am sulking in my room like a teenaged eye-liner wearing boy rather than rotting. This is my Obi Wan Kenobi: basketball season. I had hoped that the glorious resurrection would be tonight with Indiana ending Duke's 44-game non-conference home game streak, but Sampson's boys were too young. Going into Coach K Arena they played like a bunch of terrified freshmen, not coming up to the ball or jumping. When they hit puberty at halftime and finally grew some balls, their inability to make free-throws basically cost them the game. Some would argue that turnovers cost them the game; however, Duke had nearly as many turnovers as Indiana and if the Hoosiers had made 75% of their freethrow they would have more than covered the point deficit. Anyway, tomorrow is another day... indeed. The blessed Carolina Tarheels will take on (and take down!) the much-ballyhooed Ohio State Buckeyes... and the Wolverines will be avenged.


So maybe after this long absence there should be a rundown of the events of the beginning of Senior Year up til now. Here are some highlights:
- Kentucky Derby
- Seeing 3 Top-10 ranked basketball teams play last season (Duke, Memphis, WVU)
- Winning the Female Division Halloween Beer-Chugging Contest - dressed as Lara Croft, no less!
- OSU vs. Michigan (twice, Baby!)
- Moving from C-USA to ACC country
...And now it's time to dust off my Coach K voodoo doll.

O Bla Di O Bla Dah

Oh my, where has she been since basketball season? Not that it really matters... But here are the highlights of the last year:
- Seeing 3 of the Top-10 ranked NCAA basketball teams play
- Dressing as a video game character for Halloween (this is the surest way to get free Jagerbombs... if the video game character chosen is Lara Croft)
- Moving from C-USA territory to ACC-land
- Going to the Kentucky Derby with REAL KENTUCKIANS!
- Tailgating in a cow pasture
- Gophering for the Gigantour
Rabbit Trail:...everyone go to the 2 Christians and a Jew concert at the Sarasota YMCA on October 6.
- OSU@ Michigan
- Golf pro finds me "darling"
- We Are Marshall filming on campus = Matthew McConaughey and Matthew Fox on campus = chaos and hilarity
...That's it for now. Basically, I should be writing more... something about sharpening iron...? But now that I've entered the "Real World" (bet that cliche caused a quick wave of nausea and sphincter-tightening, eh?), there should be time for writing and maybe even thinking since the time dedicated to studying - oh who am I kidding? - the time dedicated to drinking over the last 4 years is no longer needed. Look for more on this page later.
Nice to be back.

Love Hurts

What an agonizing tourney. Heartbreak, thy name is basketball!

:-D

What a glorious day in basketball!
Both Indiana (formerly #15) and UNC scored somewhat major victories. North Carolina's was a solid pounding of the higher-ranked NC State, while IU narrowly edged out the foul Ohio State Buckeyes (formerly #18) by breaking a score tied at 79 with less than a minute on the clock. After trailing OSU the entire first half and even suffering a 17-point deficit - the highest yet for the season - the Hoosiers stepped up their game with a string of 3-pointers. There was a total of something like ten lead changes and one small break came near the end when OSU MVP Terence Dials fouled out. Dad started playing "Taps" for the Hoosiers with nine minutes and change left to play, but his team pulled through, despite Coach Davis's fumbles, including an early, momentum-shattering (accidental?) Time-Out. As usual, Marco Killingsworth was the player of the game, leaving little room to wonder why three of my non-Hoosier fan friends included him on their lists of the top five NCAA players this season. Kentucky fell to unranked Kansas (Rock, Chalk, Jayhawk U! Woo!) as well, parelleling Illinois' (formerly #6) humiliation at Iowa. With the Fightin' Illini a considerably less intimidating threat, Indiana may have the means to take the Big Ten this year. Now all that remains is to rename the arena KNIGHT Arena and to reinstate The General as coach. Davis' attidtude has been developing into a primadonna complex, complete with little tantrums on the floor, disputes with the refs, and a constant glower. Now, if he had coached teams like the 1975 and 1976 Hoosiers or won as many championships as Bobby Knight, his hissy fits could be overlooked or at least completely hidden by those pretty crimson banners that get hung from the rafters when the team dominates a season. But the simple facts are these: 1) Indiana, as a classically and consistently (until Davis took the helm) excellent basketball school, is a destination coaching job: once there, there's no reason to move. 2) Davis claims to be a strong Christian, but his actions on the court are anything but Christlike. 3) Davis isn't Bobby Knight. Texas Tech will never be a program to compare to Indiana's glory days with Knight as head coach, with arguaby two of the best teams ever produced in college basketball, multiple championships, and many many many close calls when they couldn't quite make it to the Big Dance. Anyway, let's hope this streak of glory for IU and UNC last; those who laughed at me for sticking to my teams can either eat their words or shove them where the sun don't shine; take your pick.